So it’s 12:10 am on Shrove Tuesday and instead of going to bed and rejuvenating myself for work/the PANCAKE CARNAGE that will inevitably ensue immediately after my alarm goes off tomorrow, I’m drinking hot chocolate and watching loads – and loads – of Japanese prank videos. And Japanese music videos. Japanese videos, full stop. Loads of them.
And I thought to myself – a little prior to 12:10 am when this article started, so let’s say 12:07 am (I act fast) – “hey Me, while I’m having a great time laughing my tits off watching these videos and drinking this, frankly delectable, hot cocoa, why don’t I share what I’m viewing with the world in the form of another blog post, keeping to my “one a week” resolution?” (Yeah. That’s right. I’m keeping to a resolution. Once I’ve written this, it’ll be like, two weeks in a row I’ve kept it. Uh huh. I’m going places.)
Watching these videos, also, totally reminds me of why I fell in love with Japan in the first place. Which is important that you all do. Trust me – it will only improve your life.
But enough of me rabbiting. Get ready to feel that sweet Japan-love in three, two, one…
1. Babymetal – Gimme Chocolate
Have you heard of this? No? You, sir, have been living under a rock. A colourless, depressing, but perhaps somewhat more psychologically stable rock. Come on. Get with the programme.
Babymetal is just one of the intensely bizarre and completely awesome bands to have come out of Japan in recent years, making some internet noise in the UK last year (generally exclamations of “wtf”, “omg” and “I don’t get it”) as they performed at a couple of festivals including Leeds Fest (I WAS THERE. It was great. I “wtfed” and “omged” all over the place. With joy.)
Basically, they are three young Japanese gals – Su-metal, Yuimetal and Moametal – who claim they are pioneering a “Metal Resistance” worldwide. Not sure how much I agree with that (also not totally sure what that means) but I’m willing to give them the benefit of the doubt because they’re awesome.
Anyway. Here you go, Babymetal newbie.
2. Hajimr Shachou – Drinking Every Kind Of Drink From A Convenience Store
Hajimr Shachou – a.k.a., the love of my life, aside from the anonymous person who grammatically edited an arse-y message on the office kitchen wall a couple of weeks back (if you’re reading this, you’re my hero) – is a Japanese prank and experimental god who pulls shit after crazy shit and puts it online. Which is a horrid image, please delete it from your brain immediately. I am sorry I typed that (not sorry enough to delete it, though).
There’s no words, really, for this omnipotent being among us mere mortals. Please watch for yourself. He makes me laugh until I cry and bellyheave. A completely unattractive but totally emotionally fulfilling state that I prefer to be in more often than not.
3. Hajimr Shachou – Taking a Coco-Cola bath with Mentos
Hey, have another one.
4. Hajimr Shachou – Eating the World’s Largest Gummy Worm! (Perhaps)
Hey, have another one… this is the last one. Promise. *Gets lost in the throes of Hajimr Shachou’s YouTube channel for foreseeable future.*
I realise that all the Hajimr videos I’ve linked here are food/drink related. What can I say. I love food. I love Hajimr. Hajimr is great with food. Hajimr… with food on him. Mm. I’ll stop.
5. Kumamon – Official Song
Kumamon (according to Wikipedia – that famously trusted and legit web service) was created by the government of Kumamoto Prefecture in Japan in 2010, aimed at drawing tourists to the region after the Kyushu Shinkansen line opened. (Cool. Didn’t know that.)
However, he is so adorable and perfect (as you are soon about to witness) that he unsurprisingly became nationally popular, and now features on stationary, pyjamas, notebooks, food items, underwear, tupperware and so on. Which is no problem. I would have a Kumamon mansion if I could.
6. Kumamon – Metal Version
I possibly prefer this version of Kumamon even more than the Kumamon original because it is simply amazing and I have no words and oh God, just watch it please.
The rage. Such intense, passionate rage.
7. Japanese Mascots Running Through A Minefield
There is no shortage of crazy things the Japanese will do for good television/a team building exercise, it seems. Sending their mascots perceivably right into their deaths by running through an active minefield is one of them.
However everyone survives, which makes it hilarious and excellent midnight viewing.
8. Japanese Prank – Japanese Prank Show Slings Sleeping Toshiaki Kasuga Fifty Metres Into The Air
Japanese pranks are in a class all their own – expensive to pull off, next-level-stressful for the unfortunate “prankees” and totally over the top. Though I’m assuming you’ll have guessed all these things from the frankly ridiculous (though totally accurate) title of this video.
9. Japanese Prank – Ghost In The Mirror
Another favourite. Watch him brown his pants. Amazing.
10. Japanese Prank – Dinosaur In The Office
SERIOUSLY. THEY’RE SO OVER THE TOP. IT’S AMAZING.
11. … And just some more Japanese Pranks, for good measure.
I could honestly watch these forever.
12. Kids absolutely losing their shit over this Spongebob Happy Meal
If you’re having a crappy day, month, year or life, the uncontainable happiness of these youngsters listening to this Happy Meal Spongebob toy should sort you right out.
Aw man. Wish I was this excited more of the time. They didn’t even need caffeine.
13. Here it is again if you wanted to see it in slow-mo. What video ISN’T improved after a bit of slow-mo?
14, 15 and 16. Kyary Pamyu Pamyu, in all her glory.
The incomparable Kyary Pamyu Pamyu is an artist who should be recognised and adored the world over (and already has been somewhat, on this blog).
Quite simply, she is a musical and visionary legend. Just look. LOOK.
If these haven’t inspired you to go see her live when she’s next in town, I can tell you from my two trips to see her already that you’ll be blessed with full on rave moments, an excellent array of costumes that’ll make you want to eat sweets until you pass out and two exquisitely limber back-up male dancers. Go for it.